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S1-021 Goodbye Horses
Goodbye Horses is the twenty-first episode of Season One of Queens of Adventure. The queens are tasked with throwing a quick ceremony to uplift morale after devastating news. Synopsis A glama bird sails through the sky over Fire Island as a storm surrounds it on all sides. It heads towards a beach where people are celebrating a victory. The waves pull away into a monstrous shape as everyone on the beach clutches their heads in pain. After a moment, the waves calm down and everyone looks around in shock and panic. Karin and Patrick embrace while Sir Throbardon and Jim-Jim try to help people. Belfry looks at the party as chaos descends around them, thanking them for bringing her info on the treaty. She entreats them to organize a ceremony to memorialize what they've lost, appreciate what they have, and and to steel everyone's spirits for the fight ahead. The group asks about the ghosts they brought from the Temple of Boom. Belfry says as long as their cleric checks it out first, she will allow them. The queens think they could be a good base for a party. Belfry will tell Augustus to spread the word for everyone to gather in one hour at the scenic overlook and suggests they talk to Sister Baccarat and Liir. Belfry goes and meets Ramshackle and they head inside. Fraya heads into the Golden Palace right away, with the plan of making floating paper lanterns. The inside is the same familiar layout with the aquarium and windows looking in on magma. She sees Cole and Shale who thank them for rescuing the former. Fraya tries to calm their fears with hope and asks them to help her to make some lanterns. Cole decides to help since she did help rescue him. They suggest they can find some paper from the Concierge's stand, and thus Fraya learns he has now died. She thinks she might say a few words. Thinking of how to raise spirits, Butylene approaches Carmella La Mer on the beach, and suggests she wants to make a cocktail to get everyone dancing and asks for some sort of native plant, or a medicinal item she can add to the drink. Carmella takes her, delightedly, to the spa to pick up some ingredients. Butylene then goes to find Liir, serving drinks to many worried people at the bar and asks him for some flamable spirits or more Gelatinous Turkey, or something with soothing herbal taste for the Flaming Melatonin drink she is envisioning. He finds some Sleepy Time, Tension Tamer vodka (the label has a bugbear in a sleeping cap) and Fireballs Rum (Devil throwing fireballs on label). Out with the ghosts near the portable party, Arson tries to teach an interpretive dance to represent what has gone on before. DJ Cyberpreppy is into the idea, but the ghosts struggle to follow Arson's lead. She lightens the mood by lighting a small campfire with prestidigitation, which helps the ghosts dance better and some of the tourists calm down. Needing to bring them in to be checked on, Arson approaches Cher Noble to ask for help with the portable party altar to the shrine in the casino. The dancing lights distract some of the people inside. In the shrine, Sister Baccarat has been giving some blessings to panicked guests, but gets up to greet them. As Arson explains the situation, the ghosts surround and admire the Sister. She casts detect good and evil and recognizes them as her kind of party people, giving them the all clear. As they move the altar again through the casino, Arson sees Brant, the gambler, trying to make armor out of buffet plates. Wilfred Brimley the tabaxi is hiding under a table. Gnomi meets with Patrick in the tavern, hiding his claw. The hour elapses, and people head up the hill, most still nervous, towards the overlook above the casino as the sun sets. There are tall rocks covered in runes framing benches around a raised platform. Everyone takes their seats. The queens head down the aisle to the stage. Some glama birds prune themselves on the stones. Sir Throbardon pulls the three queens aside and asks if he can say some words at the end. They agree and he takes his seat next to Jim-Jim. Butylene mixes the cocktails, some relaxing ones (which she adds clove from the pouch of spices she took from Harlotte before she left) and some flaming ones. People take what they want and settle in. Fraya, in a gown made from seaweed, lights the first lantern and speaks a hymn, as she casts gust of wind to carry the lantern away. Arson casts dancing lights to improve what was a shaky start. As people mutter uncertainty, Fraya says a very few words about the Concierge, perplexing the audience. Afterwards, Butylene encourages everyone to raise their drinks in a toast. As she says some deep words, she casts thaumaturgy to make the flames on everyone's drinks a rainbow. Arson takes over the stage and introduces Sir Throbardon. He stands, surprising Jim-Jim. Through the rainbows he looks around. He looks to his squire and asks him to come forward and present his sword. His sir takes it, and says in recognition of his bravery he knights Jim-Jim, with help from the others, "Sir Jim-Jim the Sickening." Everyone cheers. Jim-Jim, with help from the others, names his blade Yas Queen. As the last of the lanterns rise into the clouds, the clouds begin to take the shape of the Concierge who smiles down on everyone, and waves. Another cloud forms into Tootsie the Clown. The two cloudy shapes turn to each other and begin makeout before cloud curtains close over them. The ghosts are cued to begin the flashmob dance as Arson winks at DJ Cyberpreppy and cantrips another campfire as the song Sandstorm begins. While the ceremony was mixed, the mood does seem lighter. Ramshackle talks to several people in the crowd, including: Cher Noble, Karin, Patrick, Cher Noble, Gnomi, Ellen, and then approaches the queens. He thinks order will be maintained by their efforts, but now wants the queens to gather for a meeting in the theater. As they head down, Sister Baccarat and Carmella, arm in arm, join them, along with Lamont Du Pont. A spurt of magma bubbles up nearby, with Karin noting that it has been happening more often. Those asked head into the theater. Belfry stands on stage and Ramshackle joins them at a chalkboard near the new ghost light (Augustus beams at it proudly) before Belfry clears her throat. She explains that they have fourteen days before the Kracken will destroy the island if they don't bring it the treasure in the Ziggurat, and seismic activity on the island is increasing. But there is hope, she adds, summarizing the mutual defense provisions of the treaty. As she has survived crises in the path with a raggedy band of cohorts, she gathered this group to help make a proposal to give the glamazons. They must: 1) Identify a threat, 2) Propose a course of action to resolve the threat, 3) Identify the assets the HOGs can contribute. 4) Define scope of Glamazon involvement. 5) Establish time table. 6) Extra credit: Three experts in relevant fields. The threats they identify include the Kracken who will destroy the island if not given the treasure, Barb's lava babies for blowing up the island, and his other plan to make a mutagen army. Fraya runs through various ideas including seeking out merfolk and finding the Ice Scepter before asking Ellen what in the Ziggurat it is the Kracken wants. All the Glamazon knows is the artifact is powerful and from the founding of her people, that they have kept from evil hands for a thousand years. What it is was intentionally hidden from the records, but belonged to the Legendary Queens. Befry says these sound like a start to the assets they can provide and asks for more. Butylene brings up the Kracken Priest's Heart. Gnomi looks at it on her spear, and wants to investigate it. Butylene hands it to him, and he is transfixed by the heart. Arson says, time depending, she could go to the underdark to look for help, and Butylene could convince the imps and lava babies to help. Butylene also says Fraya wants to tame a wyvern, but the cleric says that's later. Patrick, reading a book, says he could try to do more research into harnassing their power. Ellen says her people have maps of the under island, of lava tubes, and shares the legend that shortly after the Glamazons came to the island, people trying to destroy them followed. A group of drow came up from the underdark to help, and for it were cursed into driders and went crazy. Legend says Dame Celia Molestrangler sealed them in the underdark. Arson recognizes the name from the acronyms on the tokens they found saying "Kisses Darling, DCM". Ellen says if they kiss one of those coins it gives a tip, and Dame Celia set up shrines all over the island to help people with these coins in exchange for an offering. Arson says she will be willing to look for the driders. Belfry asks what they need from the Glamazons. The maps would be the first item. Fraya asks if there are other water genasi on their side of the island. Ellen says there are, and suggests they ask for access to the Glamazon side of the office. Fraya also suggests any books they can provide Patrick for research. Thinking about going against the lava babies, Ellen says her people might be able to provide fire resistant armor. Fraya likes this and suggests they talk to Barb for help. After Fraya suggests talking to a glama bird to contact the Glamazons, Belry says the treaty provisions say they must present their plan at the Observatory on top of the Radiant Rise, a walk of a few hours she plans to head to in the morning. They could finalize the timetable at the summit, but for now their timetable is the fourteen days. She wants to provide the three experts for extra credit. The queens suggest Patrick, Ellen, and ideally Barb but they don't know how to reach him. A rat scurries across the stage and into a hole in the wall. They shout after it asking for Barb to show up at the Radiant Rise tomorrow. Liir takes away Fraya's drink. In lieu of Barb, they ask Sir Throbardon to provide knowledge on Barb. He agrees and offers to provide tactical knowledge. They circle back to step 2, proposal. Fraya suggests an army of anyone they can muster, Tourists, glamazons, merfolk, lava babies, Get the treasure in the Ziggurat, and come up with a plan to evacuate the island if need be. Belfry seems proud of this plan and people begin to feel optimistic. She approaches the queens and recommends they recover their strength while she drafts the document overnight. They will set out at nine o'clock in the morning. Everyone leaves the theater, and the queens set out to relax. Butylene wants to get some tea and read some books in their hotel suite with Patrick and Gnomi. They are discussing the heart, and its power to communicate with the spawn, and from the Kracken. Gnomi seems to greatly admire its power. Butylene looks down and sees a rat, holding a note. It is an invitation from Barb to meet behind the Three Fingers Inn. Characters Party * Arson Nicki - drider warlock * Butylene O'Kipple - tiefling alchemist * Fraya Love - water genasi cleric NPCs * Belfry Ramshackle * Karin and Patrick * Sir Throbardon and Jim-Jim * Ramshackle * Cole and Shale * Carmella La Mer * Liir * DJ Cyberpreppy and the Woo-Ghosts * Cher Noble * Brant * Gnomi Malone * Wilfred Brimley * Concierge and Tootsie the Clown * Ellen * Lamont Du Pont IV * Augustus Crimweath * Rat Imp Episode Notes Lore * Seismic activity on the island is increasing. * Belfry once traveled with a 'raggedy band of cohorts'. * The treasure in the Ziggurat is so powerful it must be kept out of the hands of those who would use it for ill purposes. To protect it, all record of what it was was removed from Glamazon culture. * In the early days of the Glamazons, forces pursued them to the island to take the treasure. Drow from the underdark came to the surface to aid the Glamazons, but were cursed into driders and driven mad for their interference. Dame Celia Molestrangler sealed them away. Memorable Quotes * "It's a cumjunction function, if you will." - Butylene O'Kipple * "I'm going to stay here and fight because if I go out to sea I will probably die and if I die here I was going to die anyway, so um-" - Fraya Love * "We're dancing really hard and everyone's crying so it means something." - Arson Nicki * "Concierge, really reminded me of someone I'd seen before and I liked it. Like you. That's All... I'm terrible at words." - Fraya Love * "If those aren't raised spirits, I don't know what is." - Butylene O'Kipple * "But if he could hear my thoughts at the moment it would be nice if he could walk in and say Hey Girl, Hey." - Fraya Love * "Would you say with the addition of the ghosts that spirits are boo-ueyed?" - Arson Nicki References * Conjunction Junction * Star Wars: A New Hope * Xanax * Save the Last Dance * So You Think You Can Dance * Bob Mackie * Monique Heart in Drag Race All-Stars Season 4 * Lion King - Mufasa in the clouds * Clash of the Titans "Release the Kracken" * X-Force * Xena Warrior Princess * Weird Science Name That Tune * "Strong Enough" - Cher * "Sandstorm" - Darude Behind the Queens *Gilda Rabbit is once again credited for the eldritch song. Category:Episodes Category:Season One